Have you ever noticed that during recess, kids can spend more time making teams than actually playing? For years, I would see this happen and thought I was helping by stepping in. I used my knowledge of their athletic abilities to quickly form “fair” teams, making sure games were balanced so no one experienced a blowout. My logic was simple: the sooner the kids had teams, the more time they had to play, and the better the energy release would be.
However, in doing so, I unintentionally took away something much more valuable—the chance for students to practice Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) skills.
When I revisited Montessori’s planes of development, it struck me that, especially in the second plane (ages 6–12), the act of making teams directly supports age-specific needs. These children are more social than ever, driven by a desire for fairness and justice, reaching new levels of imagination, and refining their executive functioning. By creating teams for them, I wasn’t just managing recess—I was “giving them the answers” instead of letting them work through the problem themselves.
Making teams is their work. It’s just as valuable as math practice, writing exercises, or any other classroom endeavor. And, like all meaningful work, it comes with challenges, problem-solving, and opportunities for growth.
SEL Skills Gained from Making Teams
Sportsmanship as the Foundation
We often teach students the simple rule: Be fun to play with, be fun to play against. If they internalize this, they’ll quickly recognize that a fun game is also a fair game. It naturally discourages lopsided team-making.Empathy and Perspective-Taking
Disagreements about team composition are inevitable. Here, “See Both Sides” becomes the anchor. Students must practice empathy, listen actively, and be willing to compromise to find a solution that works for everyone.Fairness with Compassion
Children are highly aware of hierarchies in athletic ability. Making teams gives them the chance to practice kindness and fairness—without condescension—toward peers who may not be as skilled. This balance requires nuanced empathy.Communication and Conflict Resolution
Words matter. If a student is blunt or authoritarian when proposing team ideas, others may disengage. However, tactful and honest communication can inspire cooperation. Through trial and error, students discover what kind of language builds consensus.Executive Functioning and Strategy
Different methods of making teams challenge children to plan and strategize:Pairing Method: Students honestly evaluate their own abilities and match themselves with a peer of similar skill, splitting across teams.
Captains and Drafting: A captain learns to value teamwork and chemistry, not just raw talent, when choosing players.
Teams by Committee: One or a small group of students takes on the task of making fair teams, practicing leadership and communication skills.
Supporting Team-Making in PE vs. Recess
In PE, I often encourage the team-making process by giving students a few constraints—but then I let them do the rest. For example, I might say, “You get to make the teams, but you must have at least one first grader, one second grader, and one third grader per team.” These small prompts give them structure while still requiring collaboration, empathy, and negotiation to finalize the teams.
If we are playing a game with multiple teams, I may assign every first-year player to their own team, then let them make the first choice for a teammate. This can actually be more SEL practice for the older students getting picked, because we emphasize that being chosen “is an honor. When someone picks you, they think you are a good teammate, fun to play with, and overall awesome.” We demand that students not make faces, roll their eyes, or do anything that gives away their unhappiness. Instead, they should treat the situation with grace and courtesy, making the best of it. When it’s time for the first year to choose another player, they can take counsel from the older student they chose if they wish.
At recess, however, I don’t provide the same guidelines. This is their time. My role there is primarily observational—watching how they approach the process, noting the choices they make, and observing how their SEL skills develop naturally in a less structured environment.
The Hardest Part: Being Picked Last
One of the trickiest elements is the experience of being chosen last. Sometimes, a child may feel embarrassed or sad. Other times, the same child may surprise everyone with an outstanding performance. For some, the challenge fuels resilience and determination. For others, it may sting more deeply.
There isn’t a perfect answer. Do we let students handle it, trusting them to balance fairness with feelings? Or do we as adults step in when needed? The reality is—it depends. Each group of children, each day, and each situation is different.
The Teacher’s Role
Ultimately, choosing teams is not just an SEL exercise for students—it’s also a test of restraint and observation for adults. As teachers, our instinct is to solve problems quickly. But Montessori reminds us: never do for the child what they can do for themselves.
My default now is to let students navigate the team-making process. I observe, encourage, and step in only when necessary for conflict resolution. The process may take time, but the skills they build—such as sportsmanship, empathy, communication, fairness, and resilience—are worth far more than a few extra minutes of play.
The game isn’t only about who wins. It’s about who the children are becoming as they learn to play together.